I went into a crazy spew on Tumblr some time after the release of
Confession, primarily focusing on
how inclined I was to be irritated at Meiko's behavior, especially towards Izumi. Just so you don't
have to read the extended version of what I had to say there, I'll only bring up what's important in this. However,
if you insist on reading the whole thing, click right here.
Before I get into
why I don't like Mochizuki Meiko, I'll admit that there
are a few good traits to this character. I sincerely doubt that
there wouldn't be a whole #MeikoDefenseWeek if there wasn't
something that people found appealing about her.
Let's not kid ourselves:
Meiko is cute, shy, and nice. She's also pretty smart too, least she wouldn't have been as helpful to Mimi during the school festival. Whenever
Meicoomon really loses her shit, Meiko comes running, even though she ends up not really being much help and having to get saved by Yamato multiple times and by Taichi once in the last installment.
The point I'm trying to make is that she's also super caring, especially about her partner. These points about Meiko I suppose is what makes her appealing, and all reasonably so.
Now putting aside the obvious fact that her personality is the average Original Character, I can
almost see the appeal of this character.
Truth is,
there isn't any girl like her in the Digimon Adventure series, as most of the girls are strong-headed to some degree or another. In a way, I'm assuming this dramatic change in personality was
supposed to be a breath of fresh air. In fact, I'll even dare say that this constant state of feeling weak only to come out strong in the end is supposed to be this great inspiring thing for people who couldn't relate to Digimon until now, especially people who hide in a bashful shell, although that bashful shell (from my experience) has lead me to believe that (nine times out of ten) it is only a mask to hide something else that is the polar opposite of true bashfulness.
If Meiko is not some representation of some part of the fanbase, then I'm guessing she is the embodiment of some sick fantasy, probably from a typical OC, and everyone said that it was okay.
So how is it possible for me to admit all of this and still not like her character that much, but still like similar characters of personality like Kuronuma Sawako from Kimi ni Todoke?
Because it's not endearing - in Sawako's case, her shyness didn't really
stop her from trying to help the people she was around. Even though she helped out from time to time
trembling, Sawako did it anyway and everything worked out one way or another. In Meiko's case, she is silent and more overwhelmed by
feelings than trying to contribute to the best interests of the team. When things go wrong, she blames herself for it, and
the sad truth is that she is to blame to an extent: she refused to take responsibility and open up to the team about the important things they needed to know (in Confession, it was about Meicoomon being the source of the virus) and all of this in the name of... I don't know... drama?
If Meiko had been more like Sawako, then I would have been more inclined to like her, and
might have given into the idea of pairing her with Taichi. However, the fact is that
Meiko's shyness is not only not endearing, but saying that it's annoying is putting it nicely.
Now I know some of you might be trying to argue at this point that you don't
need a reason to be friends with someone. That's true, and the supportive nature of the others (especially Sora and Mimi) really shows how good friends they are, but
the silence from Meiko's end tells you things about her character and that she's perfectly fine with the other Chosen Children suffering - just as long as she can beat herself up over it in the end. Now
thankfully, this becomes less and less of an issue, but it's prevalent throughout the entire anime.
I also said in that Tumblr post that I sympathized with Meiko, and I
still do. However,
there are just certain behaviors that I am guilty of that not only do I not like about myself, but see very plainly in this character.
Remember when I said there was a trigger warning? I meant that in the most medical sense I know how, since it is used in the medical field for situations that I'm about to talk about, and not what the internet has made it out to be. Nonetheless, you have been warned.
You see, while on the outside I looked to have a pretty normal childhood, I did
not. The most that I
will go into this is that I was emotionally neglected (I'll even dare say emotionally
abused, but you get the picture) in which I thought at the time to be completely normal.
I only bring this up to point out what I had allowed it to become in my life: selfishness.
You see, when you lack something in your life, you try to use your own means to make up for that loss - that's just how the human brain (and even emotion) works. Perhaps I didn't see it at the time, but now I see that the reason why I was so inclined to make sure I wasn't hurt again (and perhaps to make sure that my own emotional needs were catered to in some fashion or another) was because of this inward fear that if
I didn't do it, no on else would do it for me. Thankfully, I have matured enough past that stage and now walk the road to care more about others than something as petty as my own emotional needs.
Meiko, though hard to see at ground level (and maybe not even intentionally), is constantly selfish throughout Digimon Tri, or at least allows selfishness to manifest throughout the story because, I don't know, she Mrs. Sweet and Gentle and for
more drama? I already pointed out how she sometimes runs
into the danger, and I think that was for
unnecessary dramatic effect, but there were
plenty of other things that displays how selfish Meiko really is, and it was the most obvious to me during
Confession.
So how exactly is this
possible? Izumi starts questioning Meiko after Meicoomon kills Leomon and jumps through a distortion. Mimi criticizes Izumi
not for
questioning Meiko, but
how he was going about it, since he was making her cry, probably because the loss of her partner by that point was
so overwhelming and perhaps rightly so because, as the story suggests, this chick
never had to engage in
any kind of battle with Meicoomon until the events in Digimon Tri.
This was all fine and dandy to me... until Taichi tries to encourage Meiko to tell Izumi anything she might know... only to be shot down by Mimi.
Meiko says later on in that very scene that she needs to apologize to Izumi, but what irritates me is the fact that she never does. If she had at least done
that, it would have made the fact that she
never tells him the most
critical information in Digimon Tri a
little more bearable. I kid you not,
because of Meiko's deliberate choice to refuse taking action and telling Izumi the very detail everyone needs to know, Izumi is forced to take extreme measures by tirelessly going through any and all data he
might have to get some lead on something that could have been easily resolved through simple communication, as all teammates should be able to do, especially after knowing each other for six years. Even though Meiko just started out, I'm surprised Taichi was the only one that encouraged her to say something, and even then in that one scene alone, almost as if Meiko's thoughtlessness rubs off on everyone else.
Now how do I know this could have been easily resolved through verbal communication? Because just before the other children go to the Digital World, Meiko tells Takeru!
And I'm just sitting here wondering, "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE!?"
Oh, but we wouldn't have had
more drama and
more filler if Meiko had told Izumi straight out about Meicoomon. Besides, it's
fine because Izumi remembers something that helps with
his Mega evolution! π
Yeah right... π‘
After some thought, and a little research,
I realized that there was another detail in the midst that I didn't give much thought to until now that
has the strongest connection to Meiko's unintentional selfishness: the
establishment of guilt.
In bittersweet irony, I can honestly say that I can relate to Meiko here too. Remember the emotional neglect/abuse I told you about? Well, common sense and basic psychology points to victims forming a sense of guilt over these things, as if telling themselves not only is it
their fault without any
real proof, but eventually believe it like second nature if no one picks up on the issue and talk them out of it.
Meiko, throughout the entire anime, beats herself up over Meicoomon's outrages like it's her fault. Yes,
she made the memories with Mecioomon, but it was a past enemy of the Chosen Children that was responsible for screwing Meicoomon over in the first place. To a degree, I understand the guilt, but for someone who's supposed to be smart, she lacks common sense to put these together and be strong for her partner.
The messed up thing about all of this is that such people
do exist, as I too had a point in my life where was was intellectually inclined but lacked common sense. This is another trait I shared with Meiko I find distasteful now, at least in the department of belittled common sense.
Is she constantly putting herself under this pressure because she doesn't know what to do? Is she doing this because this is all she
can do? I sometimes can't help but wonder if Meiko is also mentally ill in some degree, and they never address that through the anime because it wouldn't fit the dramatic narrative and their perverted idea of love for Taichi.
The more I keep thinking about all these things concerning Meiko, the more I see a lot of who I used to be back when I had depression that was never diagnosed and just cringe at it. Meiko's a sweet girl, don't get me wrong, but she's so freaking
helpless in this anime, and I suppose that's what I can't stand. All Meiko does is cry, feel sorry for herself, and do the right thing at the last minute: I feel like I've heard the same thing somewhere with a
vampire romance.
I suppose what I'm trying to say about relating to Meiko is that its all the wrong things: cowardice, selfishness, ignorance, and emotionally responding to situations rather than common sense.
Some of you might be asking yourself at this point about why I'm not the least bit inspired by this character, despite sharing so many similarities.
The fact is, all of her character development is put on the back burner until the last minute. Every time someone told her to cheer up, she didn't seem to be the least bit encouraged, and
maybe under reasonable circumstances, but it also proves how Meiko really doesn't trust the team, much less herself. Given all the details I mentioned before, it makes sense, but what about the common sense of it not really helping the situation? Was she even
meant to help the situation at all and just be the poor sweet little victim? I don't know... I
really don't know.
Above all this, and to put insult to injury,
Meiko's emotional "improvement" is not only very late in the anime but it's not that much.
