A Look Into An Iconic Dadrius Scene | The Owl House

Before I get into the meat of this, two confessions first:

First, this week (technically March 18, 2023), marks a three year anniversary of something really horrible that happened to me. I was kicked out of the house of somebody who meant a lot to me, who also happened to be my abuser: the final straw after three months of emotional and physical abuse. I bring it up because the nature of this post (on reflection) is probably why my brain connected it to The Owl House, my current hyperfixation, if you will.

Second, this is basically an extended version of various tweets that I had made hours before time of writing. Figured it make sense to try to bring it all together... try.

Anyway, if you've been following me on Tumblr recently, you're probably seeing some stuff being liked and shared relating back to Hunter (a comfort character for me in some capacity or the other), usually either with Willow as girlfriend or Darius as a father. I'm going to be focusing on the latter relationship of Darius and Hunter in a father/son-like relationship, which is common among the internet as either Wovengold or it's more popular name, Dadrius.

If my information is correct, what got this father/son-ship off the ground to becoming as popular as it is regards to a scene in Any Sport in A Storm. If not then, then definitely after Hollow Mind. 

I want to take a step back and recap the scene in Any Sport in A Storm.

Let me make something else clear: I understand the intention of the scene. At its core, it's supposed to be akin to a joke, or to break the ice between Darius and Hunter, but after recent events, I feel the need to ask... was this scene appropriate?

If you've never experienced abuse, then maybe you've experienced another form of really painful memories? Maybe after that event, small things remind you of that (a smell, a sight, a certain thing, etc.), and even though it's illogical, it still upsets you when this "small thing" sets you off?

Unless your therapist and/or psychologist tells you otherwise, chances are what you're experiencing is called a trigger. 

This is a very real thing and shouldn't be used as a synonym of somebody getting offended and that they need to grow up. That kind of attitude is abelist and people need to just use the word "offense" when somebody is actually offended. Zena & Poppy did a video a while back relating to Offense vs Harm, and I think people need to understand the differences.

Getting back on the topic of actual triggers, allow me to use myself as an example. After leaving the house of my abuser three years ago, there were certain things I couldn't hear or say without it igniting something in me, usually a strong negative emotion or my chest hurting. There was a ringtone I only used for the person who was my abuser: I can't hear that ringtone anymore without being upset. The individual in question also has a very common name, and I thank God that despite its commonality, I don't run into people very often who share my abuser's name.

So what do triggers have to do with The Owl House, or Dadrius for that matter? The answer is simple: Hunter was abused by Belos, and Coven Heads did him dirty through neglect or hostility: there was another post that did this part of Hunter's story far more justice than I ever could. 

This doesn't help the fact that in Hunting Palismmn, Hunter literally had blades thrown in his face!

 
And for what? Disagreeing with Belos, his abuser! 

To make matters infinitely worse, Hunter was so groomed by this point, I'm convinced that if Belos actually aimed for his face, he wouldn't move and let him run him through. Anything to please Belos, even death... remember Eclipse Lake?

Now, with that in mind, if you're an adult and you've made up your mind at this point that a child proved you wrong about something, is it really okay to raise your hand at them, like Darius does in Any Sport in A Storm?

Seriously, think about this from a real-life scenario for a bit: if there was a child who's had a history of abuse in their lives, is it really okay to do anything that might resurface those unpleasant memories, especially if they are still in that abusive relationship?

Now, there's a chance that Darius may not know the full extent of the abuse that Hunter was going through, I'll give him that... but he's still a Coven Head, and given the cut-throat nature of the Coven Heads even against each other, you'd think that this detail would be both more obvious to Darius and imply something to the Emperor's Coven Head.

And look, if you want to insist that maybe I'm over-thinking this, that's fine. It's just that in the process of thinking about both my personal experience with abuse and The Owl House, it just doesn't sit right with me when someone is very likely to know that somebody has experienced pain a certain way and do something that's counterproductive to that.

And I also get that Darius was trying to be intimidating so Hunter would prove his willingness to rebel, but at that point in the story, the Emerald Entrails were already leaving: there was no further use for Darius to be intimidating once it was just himself and Hunter.

So at the end of the day, I get how this scene is funny, I really do, and it's easier on my brain when I don't think about the implications of it. However, when I do take into account the context, what Hunter has to deal with, and what that means for someone who's been abused, it's a careless writing decision at best, and potentially malice at worst.

I like the concept of Dadrius, I really do, but like everything else, it has its flaws. Given season three being screwed over by Disney, I can't see Dadrius becoming canon. Thankfully, we have fan-fiction to explore certain ideas that will likely never be touched, such as Darius actually apologizing to Hunter for not being able to do more for him during the time he was abused by Belos, or even exploring what it means to have a real trigger, and how that effects somebody.

Anyway, what do you think? Am I overthinking this, or is there some merit to this, and in what way? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

🐦 A Dadrius Observation | Twitter

This makes me wonder if this set up for a joke was even appropriate... I mean, this is a kid who's had blades thrown really close to his face.#TheOwlHouse #HunterTOH #DariusDeamonne https://t.co/cwt8rKfTyn

— 🌸 Moonspirit🌙 🌸 (@Moonspirit_X) March 18, 2023

Like, think about it for a minute: how would you feel about a real life adult looking as if he's about to physically assault an abused child, only to turn around and it be a a joke? Trauma has a way of fucking people over.#TheOwlHouse #abuse https://t.co/IqCM979vIY

— 🌸 Moonspirit🌙 🌸 (@Moonspirit_X) March 19, 2023

While we don't see how much Darius knows of the #abuse Hunter went through, you'd think as a Coven Head, he would have had enough sense to know better, at the very least.#TheOwlHouse https://t.co/KOrCg4RIdC

— 🌸 Moonspirit🌙 🌸 (@Moonspirit_X) March 19, 2023

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this scene that made #Dadrius so popular in #TheOwlHouse was cute at first, but after reflecting on the #abuse Hunter has gone through, it changes the implication of a joke to something careless at best and troubling at worst. https://t.co/sQgko4wx6r

— 🌸 Moonspirit🌙 🌸 (@Moonspirit_X) March 19, 2023

An Owl House Fiction Idea

It's interesting that this would come back to my mind on Valentine's Day of all days, but if you're willing to sit this one in and hear me out, then please do so. 

 

Apparently my darker streak has come back when contemplating about this idea, because unfortunately, upon thinking it over, it's pretty fucked up.

So while I don't have any names for these respective characters, I did have the basic premise of this being an Owl House future sort of gig, where it's more about the children of the previous gang than anything else, mainly revolving around a daughter of Hunter and Willow.

And before you ask: yes, I imagined that she'd have a wolf palisman... his name is Waffles.

What's so fucked up about it? The simple fact that it goes more into just the Huntlow kid being bullied for being part Grimwalker: she is elected as Grom Queen as a pity vote, kind of like what they did to Chris Griffin in Family Guy.

While people, especially the bullies, figured that the Huntlow daughter's fear was related to her bullies in some way... what they don't take into account is the full nature of that fear and it's true implications: becoming the monster they insist that she is.

Upon facing this part about herself, she begins to believe that if the world is going to think that she's a monster no matter what she does, then there's no point in trying to be anything else. This permits Grometheus the Fear Bringer to merge with her (or take possession of her, similar to what Belos did to Hunter) and bring about the havoc that he intended to do so long ago, fueled by the Huntlow daughter's anger, frustration, and helplessness. Thankfully, she is rescued by her family and friends, mainly the work of her grandfather, Darius, as as Grometheus (as a head-canon) has natural elements to himself that are similar to the abomination goo.

After being saved, she takes out her anger out on her bullies, especially the leader to it all: I always imagine said main-bully was the daughter of Boscha. She ends up saying a lot of things she ends up regretting, including (but not limited to) that the bullies should not only inflict harm to themselves, but also end their own lives for targeting somebody who did nothing to them. 

 

The end result is a quiet awkwardness whenever Huntlow's daughter is brought up.

For sometime, they don't see her, and rumors fly around that she had done to herself what she said she wanted her bullies to do so long ago. After some investigating, it turns out that Huntlow's daughter has been attending her classes, but wearing a very powerful version of concealment stones, but with a unique enchantment on it that makes the wearer of it invisible to whoever they wish to avoid - in the case of Huntlow's daughter, everybody except the teachers.

There were a few other ideas after this, but it got too dark...

such as a magic beast or something getting a hold of Boscha's daughter who had a kind of magic to make her do something crazy (like going through with killing herself) that she's rescued from, mainly by the involvement of Huntlow's daughter because while she meant what she said in a fit of anger, she regretted it so much that she'd never actually wanted anybody to do such a thing...

Boscha herself being responsible for the information of Hunter being a Grimwalker going public, even though he was not ready for that information to be public at the time...

And Boscha's daughter and Huntlow's daughter becoming friends at some later point, but after some seriously awkward shit, such as Huntlow's daughter's PTSD regarding physical contact from her bullies (Boscha's daughter included), and Boscha's daughter standing up for Huntlow's daughter in such a way that she not only openly regrets bullying, but cuts off ties from the group who are insistent that bullying is still fine because Boscha's daughter used to insist that Huntlow's daughter's info dumping about random shit was annoying, which compelled them to bully her in the first place...

And before you ask, yes, I was thinking of giving Huntlow's daughter a form of neurodivergency, explicitly a form of ADHD. As part Grimwalker, I would think such an origin story would open the possibility of that having what I can only describe as side-effects, and they just happen to match what the human world would call ADHD. In fact, the only way to help her focus on her school work (on top of meditation training) is with a plant she can turn into a potion, but the plant has weird regulations because it can be used to brew an illegal drug... a sad reality regarding how Adderall can help ADHD individuals, but still be dangerous in the wrong hands.

The biggest thing stopping me from doing this is the possibility of being seen as racist for actually going through with writing this. Yes, Huntlow's daughter would technically be half-Korean (as Willow is Asian-coded) being of Hunter's blood would also make her White in some respect, or at the very least white-passing. Despite being partly-Korean myself, and the fact that ADHD can technically be inherited from one of your parents' gene pools, I don't think the implication that the origins of her being different was the result of her mixed blood would sit well with people. Even if I were to establish that the way her brain works is explicitly a Grimwalker thing, I still don't think I can write such a characterization without being branded as racist.

So yeah, thanks for hearing one of my weird rants on one of the strangest days to have it.
Love ya.

Noriko Irie Is Toxic - Here's Why

This was originally a post on Reddit, elaborated on Tumblr.

Do you mind if I go on a rant about how much of a bitch Noriko Irie is?
That’s right - I said bitch.

Normally, I wouldn’t go that far, but the most infuriating element regarding Noriko’s character is the way she’s portrayed is supposed to be cute and supportive (and to some extent it is) but it doesn’t erase just how damn problematic she is. While she is the ultimate shipper of Naoki and Kotoko, right up to 11 out of 10 (arguably 15 out of 10), her reasons for forcing her son into the arms of the only girl who would ever want to have him are extremely selfish.

Yes, she admits in the manga that she finds Naoki and Kotoko to be a good match on the account of how much of opposites they are of each other (chapter 8)...

but here’s another reason at play that is presented, but not addressed: Noriko wants a girl in the family.

At face value, you might think that is a sweet sentiment and that it’s fine to want things.  The problem is that her handling of Naoki and Kotoko’s relationship isn’t the only time she goes up to 11.  On top of being the top person to insist that Naoki and Kotoko should hook up, she’s also responsible for Naoki’s childhood - dressing him up in girl’s clothes until he realized what was going on and finally protest.

 It would be easier to tolerate if this was something Naoki actually wanted, but this detail about his past is so embarrassing for him, it becomes something Kotoko uses later to blackmail him with into helping her study.

Why didn’t she just get him boy clothes? 

Because she didn’t want to throw out all the clothes she bought. 

She admits to all of this in chapter 2!

 It’s no wonder why Naoki has so much trouble opening up to people: the woman who was supposed to take care of him disregarded his emotional needs on multiple occasions (even when he says “no”) all for the sake of wanting a girl. To add insult to injury, she admits to this as well as if it isn’t her problem. 

And the dad? He’s sweet, but a doormat when it comes to his wife.

Upon reflection, Noriko is being extremely sexist here, but it’s supposed to be fine for some reason, because not only is the one she’s being sexist against is a man, but it’s pushing Naoki and Kotoko to spend more time together, so it’s totally fine, right?

As the leading couple, the ends justify the means, no matter how problematic you are in getting there… not.

I don’t think I’ve ever met such a toxic wing-woman for the leading female of a romcom like this before. Somebody should have sat her down and told her “no” and tell her she’s going too far over something Naoki clearly doesn’t want. That way, when Naoki and Kotoko’s relationship grows, it’s not because of environmental pressure, but rather them as characters.

A Monster Mom!?

As I was looking around at some clips across the vast universe that is YouTube, my stomach turns as I type all of this, because the horrors of all of this do more than just break my heart, and I can't even begin to explain how I feel about all of this.

For now, monster, as the title of the episode suggests, would have to suffice.  If you've watched the clip all the way, then I'm sure you understand?

Anyway, for any of you who have come to this post through the link I sent from the comment pages, I'm sure you're as curious as I was about the follow up on this woman, specifically Neka Gordon.  I have reason to suspect that I may have found her Facebook, but the best lead I've got on that is how both women are wearing the same exact glasses, so a thousand pardons if I'm wrong.

Thankfully, I was not the only one wondering what happened after the show, as someone on Yahoo asked about the same thing.  According to a post on BabyGaga, the baby from the show is still living under the same conditions.  To make matters worse, some of these so called professional websites really don't help things: White Pages didn't offer much, and neither did a thread I found on BabyCenter.

I can say this much though with more confidence than I've said about anything else of this whole affair - she had another kid, she still has custody of them (because where she lives, they can't afford to take them from her), and one of her kids died despite being an infant.  You can find the obituary here.

"LANCASTER: Nevaeh Marie Shafer 5 month old infant of Lancaster, Ohio died Saturday, January 12, 2013 at her residence. She was born on July 20, 2012 in Lancaster, Ohio to Michael E. Shaffer, Sr. and Neka R. Gordon." - Nevaeh Marie Shaffer Obituary

"She had another baby that died under mysterious conditions in 2013. You can Google her name and see the babies obituary. Neka Gordon. The babies name was Neaveh Shaffer . According to her it was sleeping on the couch cushions and just died."

Now that I've gotten this off my chest... I need to go lay down...

Thoughts on Tri: Meiko Mochi-SUE-ki

SPOILERS & LEGIT TRIGGER WARNING!

Trigger warning for the fact that I am going to be talking about my life, which will contain potentially sensitive material to those who have experienced similar things, if not the same exact things.

 

I went into a crazy spew on Tumblr some time after the release of Confession, primarily focusing on how inclined I was to be irritated at Meiko's behavior, especially towards Izumi.  Just so you don't have to read the extended version of what I had to say there, I'll only bring up what's important in this.  However, if you insist on reading the whole thing, click right here.

Before I get into why I don't like Mochizuki Meiko, I'll admit that there are a few good traits to this character.  I sincerely doubt that there wouldn't be a whole #MeikoDefenseWeek if there wasn't something that people found appealing about her.

Let's not kid ourselves: Meiko is cute, shy, and nice.  She's also pretty smart too, least she wouldn't have been as helpful to Mimi during the school festival.  Whenever Meicoomon really loses her shit, Meiko comes running, even though she ends up not really being much help and having to get saved by Yamato multiple times and by Taichi once in the last installment.  The point I'm trying to make is that she's also super caring, especially about her partner.  These points about Meiko I suppose is what makes her appealing, and all reasonably so.

Now putting aside the obvious fact that her personality is the average Original Character, I can almost see the appeal of this character.
Truth is, there isn't any girl like her in the Digimon Adventure series, as most of the girls are strong-headed to some degree or another.  In a way, I'm assuming this dramatic change in personality was supposed to be a breath of fresh air.  In fact, I'll even dare say that this constant state of feeling weak only to come out strong in the end is supposed to be this great inspiring thing for people who couldn't relate to Digimon until now, especially people who hide in a bashful shell, although that bashful shell (from my experience) has lead me to believe that (nine times out of ten) it is only a mask to hide something else that is the polar opposite of true bashfulness.
If Meiko is not some representation of some part of the fanbase, then I'm guessing she is the embodiment of some sick fantasy, probably from a typical OC, and everyone said that it was okay.

So how is it possible for me to admit all of this and still not like her character that much, but still like similar characters of personality like Kuronuma Sawako from Kimi ni Todoke?
Because it's not endearing - in Sawako's case, her shyness didn't really stop her from trying to help the people she was around.  Even though she helped out from time to time trembling, Sawako did it anyway and everything worked out one way or another.  In Meiko's case, she is silent and more overwhelmed by feelings than trying to contribute to the best interests of the team. When things go wrong, she blames herself for it, and the sad truth is that she is to blame to an extent: she refused to take responsibility and open up to the team about the important things they needed to know (in Confession, it was about Meicoomon being the source of the virus) and all of this in the name of... I don't know... drama? 
If Meiko had been more like Sawako, then I would have been more inclined to like her, and might have given into the idea of pairing her with Taichi.  However, the fact is that Meiko's shyness is not only not endearing, but saying that it's annoying is putting it nicely.

Now I know some of you might be trying to argue at this point that you don't need a reason to be friends with someone.  That's true, and the supportive nature of the others (especially Sora and Mimi) really shows how good friends they are, but the silence from Meiko's end tells you things about her character and that she's perfectly fine with the other Chosen Children suffering - just as long as she can beat herself up over it in the end.  Now thankfully, this becomes less and less of an issue, but it's prevalent throughout the entire anime.

I also said in that Tumblr post that I sympathized with Meiko, and I still do.  However, there are just certain behaviors that I am guilty of that not only do I not like about myself, but see very plainly in this character.

Remember when I said there was a trigger warning?  I meant that in the most medical sense I know how, since it is used in the medical field for situations that I'm about to talk about, and not what the internet has made it out to be.  Nonetheless, you have been warned.
 
You see, while on the outside I looked to have a pretty normal childhood, I did not.  The most that I will go into this is that I was emotionally neglected (I'll even dare say emotionally abused, but you get the picture) in which I thought at the time to be completely normal. 
I only bring this up to point out what I had allowed it to become in my life: selfishness.
You see, when you lack something in your life, you try to use your own means to make up for that loss - that's just how the human brain (and even emotion) works.  Perhaps I didn't see it at the time, but now I see that the reason why I was so inclined to make sure I wasn't hurt again (and perhaps to make sure that my own emotional needs were catered to in some fashion or another) was because of this inward fear that if I didn't do it, no on else would do it for me.  Thankfully, I have matured enough past that stage and now walk the road to care more about others than something as petty as my own emotional needs.

Meiko, though hard to see at ground level (and maybe not even intentionally), is constantly selfish throughout Digimon Tri, or at least allows selfishness to manifest throughout the story because, I don't know, she Mrs. Sweet and Gentle and for more drama?  I already pointed out how she sometimes runs into the danger, and I think that was for unnecessary dramatic effect, but there were plenty of other things that displays how selfish Meiko really is, and it was the most obvious to me during Confession.

So how exactly is this possible?  Izumi starts questioning Meiko after Meicoomon kills Leomon and jumps through a distortion.  Mimi criticizes Izumi not for questioning Meiko, but how he was going about it, since he was making her cry, probably because the loss of her partner by that point was so overwhelming and perhaps rightly so because, as the story suggests, this chick never had to engage in any kind of battle with Meicoomon until the events in Digimon Tri.

This was all fine and dandy to me... until Taichi tries to encourage Meiko to tell Izumi anything she might know... only to be shot down by Mimi.

Meiko says later on in that very scene that she needs to apologize to Izumi, but what irritates me is the fact that she never does.  If she had at least done that, it would have made the fact that she never tells him the most critical information in Digimon Tri a little more bearable.  I kid you not, because of Meiko's deliberate choice to refuse taking action and telling Izumi the very detail everyone needs to know, Izumi is forced to take extreme measures by tirelessly going through any and all data he might have to get some lead on something that could have been easily resolved through simple communication, as all teammates should be able to do, especially after knowing each other for six years.  Even though Meiko just started out, I'm surprised Taichi was the only one that encouraged her to say something, and even then in that one scene alone, almost as if Meiko's thoughtlessness rubs off on everyone else.

Now how do I know this could have been easily resolved through verbal communication? Because just before the other children go to the Digital World, Meiko tells Takeru!

And I'm just sitting here wondering, "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THAT BEFORE!?"

Oh, but we wouldn't have had more drama and more filler if Meiko had told Izumi straight out about Meicoomon.  Besides, it's fine because Izumi remembers something that helps with his Mega evolution! 🙃

Yeah right... 😡

After some thought, and a little research, I realized that there was another detail in the midst that I didn't give much thought to until now that has the strongest connection to Meiko's unintentional selfishness: the establishment of guilt.

In bittersweet irony, I can honestly say that I can relate to Meiko here too.  Remember the emotional neglect/abuse I told you about?  Well, common sense and basic psychology points to victims forming a sense of guilt over these things, as if telling themselves not only is it their fault without any real proof, but eventually believe it like second nature if no one picks up on the issue and talk them out of it.

Meiko, throughout the entire anime, beats herself up over Meicoomon's outrages like it's her fault.  Yes, she made the memories with Mecioomon, but it was a past enemy of the Chosen Children that was responsible for screwing Meicoomon over in the first place.  To a degree, I understand the guilt, but for someone who's supposed to be smart, she lacks common sense to put these together and be strong for her partner. 
The messed up thing about all of this is that such people do exist, as I too had a point in my life where was was intellectually inclined but lacked common sense.  This is another trait I shared with Meiko I find distasteful now, at least in the department of belittled common sense.
Is she constantly putting herself under this pressure because she doesn't know what to do?  Is she doing this because this is all she can do?  I sometimes can't help but wonder if Meiko is also mentally ill in some degree, and they never address that through the anime because it wouldn't fit the dramatic narrative and their perverted idea of love for Taichi.

The more I keep thinking about all these things concerning Meiko, the more I see a lot of who I used to be back when I had depression that was never diagnosed and just cringe at it.  Meiko's a sweet girl, don't get me wrong, but she's so freaking helpless in this anime, and I suppose that's what I can't stand.  All Meiko does is cry, feel sorry for herself, and do the right thing at the last minute: I feel like I've heard the same thing somewhere with a vampire romance.

I suppose what I'm trying to say about relating to Meiko is that its all the wrong things: cowardice, selfishness, ignorance, and emotionally responding to situations rather than common sense.

Some of you might be asking yourself at this point about why I'm not the least bit inspired by this character, despite sharing so many similarities.  The fact is, all of her character development is put on the back burner until the last minute.  Every time someone told her to cheer up, she didn't seem to be the least bit encouraged, and maybe under reasonable circumstances, but it also proves how Meiko really doesn't trust the team, much less herself.  Given all the details I mentioned before, it makes sense, but what about the common sense of it not really helping the situation?  Was she even meant to help the situation at all and just be the poor sweet little victim?  I don't know... I really don't know.

Above all this, and to put insult to injury, Meiko's emotional "improvement" is not only very late in the anime but it's not that much.

Excuse me if I sound super cold when I say this, but I think her losing her partner in the end was an improvement, as I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for her because she's been a coward throughout most of the anime.  Don't mistaken this as me not feeling sorry for Meicoomon herself, as Meicoomon was, in fact, the real victim here.
Not even the memories she shared with her partner encouraged her in the slightest to do what she could except run in at the worst of times, and that alone is appalling because it was the memories she made with Meicoomon and the memories of the others that made Meicoomon so insanely powerful in the first place, at least aside from the virus... and the weird power that suddenly flows from Meiko's digivice that is responsible for the inevitable evolution of Omnimon: Merciful Mode.

I'm sorry, but the fact is that Meiko Mochizuki is a huge Mary Sue: she was a Sue at the very beginning with her over the top cute nerdy-ness and has remained a Sue for the rest of Digimon Tri because the best she has ever done is cry and feel sorry either about herself or how she thinks its her fault, but at least she was right about that (again, to an extent).  All of this wrapped up in not taking the opportunities to help when she clearly was the only who could do anything, and you have the new and main star of the show: the drama queen Meiko Mochi-Sue-ki.

In speaking of being a drama queen, am I the only one who thinks it's odd that Meiko's emotions are better animated than anyone else?

The only good thing that I can think of right now is the fact that every other Chosen Child can easily take Mochizuki Meiko if she is approached as a cautionary tale.  You see, she had all the power because of she had all the memories, but she was poorly balanced in experience, and ended up becoming a hindrance (and inevitably evil) because of it.

...Now if you'll excuse me, I better back away from this again before I get another headache.