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Monday, May 22, 2023

Racism

 

Okay, so I stumbled across a video in my recommendations that I didn't think I needed to hear until I heard it.

As the title suggests, it's about racism, and holy fucking shit was it hard for me to talk about that until now. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it still is, because there's always that concern in the back of my mind that someone was going to think that I was racist and I end up being vilified.

And I think part of my childhood has a play into this fucked-up degree of thinking that goes on in my brain. You see, I was bullied and abused growing up, so on top of walking on eggshells every day and having my feelings invalidated by my family because of how extremely fucked up it was, I also had to deal with that same shit in public in a black-dominated school. Keep in mind that I wasn't aware of my neurodivergency at the time, and that probably made things a lot worse, giving my bullies and abusers a wider open door to do what they wanted against me for whatever fucking petty reason they were doing it at the time.

I bring this up because I wonder how many other people have a similar background as my own: being white (or white-passing enough) who both had a shit childhood and has had the world tell them that there is something wrong with them over something they had no control over to begin with - both the idea that they owe black people reparations in something they never participated in and the reason they're obligated to do so has something has to do with a physical trait they didn't ask for.

Now, if someone (who happens to be white or white-passing) wants to alleviate the troubles of people who happen to be black, then I don't really see how that's an issue, because that's the only part that choosing to help other people (regardless of skin color) has in common with bigotry - it's a choice.

So please, stop telling me that I owe a demographic of people something I didn't even do in the first place. On top of not technically being a fully white person (despite being very white-passing), I also never participated in slavery to any capacity...

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